The Chouch

I need help from all 1 or 2 of you who read this. The time has come to do something with the chouch. What is a chouch? you may ask yourself. A chouch is an interesting piece of furniture that is something between the size of a chair and a couch. I have posted a poll on the side of my blog to help us make this important decision.

I know it is important to make informed decisions, so I will give you a not-so-brief timeline of the life of the chouch.

1. May 2002: Newlyweds Sean and Katy decide that they, like their neighborhood buddies, can upholster a piece of furniture with just some fabric, scissors, and a staple gun (the best part, by the way).
2. Sep 2002: Sean and Katy finally get around to tearing off the old fabric and then buying and measuring new red and brown fabric purchased in some kind of exhaustion-induced psychotic episode. Chouch is reupholstered.
3. Sep 2002: Sean is immediately impressed. Katy values the experience more than the chouch.
4. Feb 2004: Sean and Katy move the chouch for the first time. Katy suggests getting rid of the chouch since their new apartment is extremely small. The chouch comes to the new apartment.
5. May 2006: Sean and Katy move again. The chouch comes. The once-brilliant red and beige has faded to some kind of burgandy and dirt.
6. 5 Oct 2008: Sean and Katy prepare to move again. Katy suggests that the chouch has seen better days and should be retired to D.I. The chouch prepares to be moved again.
7. 15 Oct 2008: Katy asks a nice guy who is helping them move to light the chouch on fire. He laughs and puts the chouch in the moving truck. She was not joking.
8. 16 Oct 2008: Dan, helping Sean and Katy to shuffle things on the very top to save space, inadvertantly steps on the underside of the chouch, tearing a hole. The chouch remains in the moving truck and is moved 2000 miles cross-country.
   
9. 25 Oct 2008: Katy arrives at the new apartment, which smells like a potpourri of a pet store, smoke, and mildew.
10. 27 Oct 2008: The chouch is moved AGAIN! to a new and significantly less-smelly townhome. Katy and her mom quickly organize the living room so that there is no place for the chouch.
11. 1 Nov 2008: Katy notices that the chouch has retained some of the old apartment's smells. Sean sprays the chouch with Febreeze.
12. Nov 2008: Sean brings the chouch upstairs to his and KATY'S BEDROOM! It doesn't fit in the door. Sean breaks the legs of the chouch to make it fit, and then fixes them once he has put the offensive object in his and KATY'S BEDROOM!
13. Nov - Dec 2008: Katy gasps for air everytime she comes into her febreeze-drenched, chouch-filled room.
14. 15 Dec 2008: Sean suggests that we should "do something" about the chouch. Katy votes to burn it. She gets a dirty look, but was (once again) not kidding.
    

Help!! If I have someone else on my side, then perhaps we can get rid of it. Please vote. Those of you who have seen it can sympathize with me. Those of you who have seen it and liked it are kindly invited not to vote. :)

Oh, Mom, I'm so embarrassed

Do you ever have those days when you are so tired you think that you could fall asleep standing up? When you frantically try to think of anything to occupy your children so you can sneak a 10-minute nap? ("Of course you may take your Daddy's tools and build something impressive. Remember your protective eye wear and don't use any power tools. They're very noisy"). I was feeling like that today, and the girls decided that they wanted to play blocks together. Yay! Just as I was mentally running through my 15-minutes of me time, I got a call. From Anna's teacher. Who is beautiful and sweet and perfect. She left some cookies for me at the front office of the school, and could I pick them up before everyone left for the Christmas holiday?

AHHHHH! Of course I would be happy to. So I grabbed the kids, threw (nicely) them in the car, and left. Only when I stopped at the school and Anna stared at my feet did I realize what had happened.

Anna: "Um, Mom. Did you forget your shoes?"

Me (thinking): Well, no I feel something warm on my feet. Hello, its raining outside. I wouldn't forget to wear . . . . oh, crap.

Me (verbally): No.

Anna: Mom, you're wearing slippers.

Me: Um, I just need to run in the school and grab some cookies.

Anna: In the school? Oh, Mom, I'm so embarrassed.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but I swear that this wasn't supposed to happen until she was at least 9 or 10 years old. Pink fuzzy slippers are cool, dang it.

A Playdate Gone Wrong . . . or Right

Since we are new to the area, Elizabeth and I were thrilled to go to the regularly scheduled church playgroup today. She hasn't been able to do a lot with friends, and has been looking forward to going for a couple of days. To make ourselves liked (and therefore invited again), we stopped at the grocery store and loaded up on fruit snacks, Oreos, juice boxes, and capri suns to share. Unfortunately, when we got to the church to meet everyone, nobody came. I understand that the week before Christmas is not a great time for a get-together, but Elizabeth does not, and she was ticked. (Besides, I really like Oreos and juice boxes, and now there are plenty for my late-night foraging).

So what is a mom to do?

Playland! All you have to do is buy some fast food (or not, if you're cheap and there are lots of people), and you have access to an enclosed play area, which is nice if you live where it is constantly rainy. Personally, the only downfall is that the play area is always strangely enticing to me, but you get strange looks when you are almost 30 and climbing up the slide. I wonder if you can buy a version to fit in my basement.

As you can tell, Elizabeth quickly recovered from her anger. Crown-shaped chicken nuggets and having a gigantic play area all to yourself usually have that effect.

Elizabeth found her happy place, and I found mine at the used car dealership on the way home. Would anybody else have been tempted to stop in and ask how much they wanted for the police car? Think of the possibilities.

Umbrellas everywhere

It rained all day today, so we made a trip to the store to buy the essential item we didn't bring with us - an umbrella. If only for the umbrellas, it is totally worth living in Virginia. You can't find them this big in Utah, and if you could, you didn't need them. The one we got tonight could fit a family underneath it - and not just a little family, a family that loves certain Southern cooking (fried chicken, its everywhere).

Imagine the potential for this umbrella - rain, sun, snow, fighting large intruders. It does it all. Its only downfall - it opens at approximately 35 miles an hour, though I couldn't get a precise clocking of the speed. Anna wants to take it to school tomorrow. hmmmm.

We have Mole-its

Amazingly enough, we had another discussion about mullets today. If someone has something equally trashy to talk about, like trailers or El Caminos, please let me know.

Elizabeth: Hey guys, look. I have a mullet. (Lifting up her shirt) Its on my tummy.

Sean: That's a mole.

Elizabeth: Yes. Its a mullet.

Anna: Mullets can just be on your head.

Elizabeth: and your tummy, and (showing her other mole) on your legs .

Anna: (Seemingly out of the blue) I think we should watch MacGyver tonight.

Our Little Fashionista

Sometimes I long for childhood again. The days when you dressed up just because you knew how fabulous you looked, and it didn't matter who saw you. One person would suffice, even if it was just your doll.

Elizabeth loves looking pretty, and she loves the process. She sits in bed every night brushing her hair and talking with her dolls. Last night, I came into her room to find her in a blue bracelet and a sparkly pink headband. I guess you never know who you will meet in the middle of the night.

My cell-phone picture doesn't really do it justice, but she did look fabulous, mini-mullet and all.

Am I A Bad Mom If . . .

I'm not quite sure, but I think the following conversation qualifies me for "bad momdom." We were at the "Three Dollar Car Wash." (Yes, it is only $3 for a full-service wash with free vacuums).

Anna - "Mom, can I help you vacuum the car?"

Bad Mom - "Not today. Please stay in the car with your sister. This is not the best neighborhood."

Anna - "Mom, why are in we in a bad neighborhood?"

Bad Mom - "Because this car wash is a really good deal."

Anna - "Oh. That makes sense."

Let me qualify - the car wash is not in a "bad neighborhood." We don't live in New York City for heaven's sake. Its by Sean's office, which is not exactly the ghetto. Its just on a busy street in an area that doesn't exactly resemble Mayberry. That aside - I'm not sure, but I think that when Anna totally agrees with the logic of my "good deal" argument, we have spent a few too many hours bargain shopping. But the real question - will we go back? Can you in good conscience pay $10 at the car wash around the corner?

The Hunt for the Perfect Tree

On Saturday we went out in search of the perfect tree. No tree stands for us mountaineering types. We decided to "rough it" at the local tree farm. With the exception of Elizabeth's emergency potty-break in the shadows of some poor family's future Christmas tree, we had a wonderful time. We wandered around the farm for about an hour, looking for the perfect, majestic tree. Unfortunately, this hour scrambled our brains and left us without common sense when we picked our tree. As you can see from the photos, our beautiful tree would only look large in a home with six foot ceilings. :)

Sean and Elizabeth getting ready to cut it down.

Anna should not be allowed to hold a saw. (See what humidity does to my hair? And this was a good hair day.)

With lights, a somewhat-crooked star, and a random pair of miniature red mittens, the effect was fabulous if you were sitting down (nicer than this picture would imply, at least).

Christmas is coming, but where is the snow?

Anna wrote Christmas lists for both she and Elizabeth today. Can you decipher them?

Elizabeth:
1. papre
2. hana montanu
3. prisesis
4. snow wid

Anna:
1. a dance mat (that was easy)
2. a per av soows

Hooked on phonics worked for us, apparently. Well, kind of.

Other than that, we have been battling the weather. I am ready for Christmas snow, but I don't think its coming. I guess that I will be content with freezing rain and frost that takes 45 minutes to chip off your windshield. (We learned after our first windshield beating that there is stuff that you spray on your windshield that melts it off in about 2 minutes.) Thanks, kind neighbor man.

Our other adventure in weather has been with the leaves. Growing up in Montana (evergreen trees) and spending the last 10 years in the desert known as Utah, I could never have fathomed the issues of living in an area that has substantially more leafy trees than people, or bugs, or blades of grass, or sands of the sea. You get the point. Since the neighborhood leaf-bagging guys missed about 90% of what was in our yard, the kids and I went out with a rake to tackle the knee-high, moisture-filled, now-brown-and-suspicious-smelling leaves. We were quite sure that our box elder bug problem had a distinct connection. (Incidentally, we were right) We had a wonderful time, Anna helping me to bag five bags of leaves from our 4 foot by 6 foot "yard," while Elizabeth played "Ariel on the rock."

In the middle of our leaf-piling, bug catching expedition, we were informed by our neighbor guy (different one, but equally nice) that he had seen our toil, called the leaf guys, and they were coming back until "every leaf in your neighborhood is gone." The leaf guys, absent for four weeks, made an amazing appearance today, called me ma'am, and did a hat-tipping bow thing. Wow. I wonder if they will hunt down all of the box elder bugs too.

Thanksgiving and Shopping!!!

We had a great Thanksgiving this year. Since we just moved out here, we didn't feel like we could fly back home. A young family in our ward, the Bohons, invited us to their log house (Yes!) for dinner. They built the house on their own (with some help on the heavy duty stuff, of course), and have done a really good job. They found enough walnut planks in the barn on the property to lay a hardwood floor that is amazing. I wish I had a picture, but I was too scared that we weren't going to make it up the winding hills on gravel roads, and then too busy with the kids to think to grab the camera. Shannon made a wonderful dinner, and Anna and Elizabeth loved playing with their three kids. By the way, did you know that if you live by where they do in the mountains, you can shoot deer on your property? Just sit on the porch and wait, apparently. And no, we did not have venison for Thanksgiving. We just picked up some handy information just in case.

Friday morning we woke up early (7:30) for the morning-after-Thanksgiving shopping mania. We rushed out the door (9:50) to hit all of the sales before they ended. True to form, Anna absolutely loved the intense shopping atmosphere, and wanted to buy everything she saw. Elizabeth was torn between wanting to play with the toys and wanting to stay close to me. So what did we end up buying? Only Santa knows . . . which is amazing because the kids were with us and all I had for present cover was a puffy vest - yes, I still have one and I like it.

We just got the pictures the girls took in October. Thankfully, these were pre-mullet. I think the girls are amazing and beautiful, because they are, of course. :) If you are close to Billings, this photographer is wonderful. Both of the girls were super crabby and hungry (where is their mom?), and she still got really good pictures of them.

Mullets and Such

My mom says its all Sean's fault for introducing her to Macgyver. What can I say? We are learning to be one with the mullet that is Elizabeth. She asked me to make hot chocolate and then surreptitiously made her way upstairs to the bathroom, where she proceeded to give herself a trim. Since she cut her hair to the scalp over her ear, there is nothing that can be done. She got a little trim at the salon, but we will have to wait a couple of months for regrowth. Until then, incredibly wide headbands.

The bright spot in our otherwise mullet-ridden day was Anna's "Kindergarten Thanksgiving feast." "How cute," I thought. Well, it was definitely interesting. The parents, armed with cameras, got to sit and watch their kids eat. The kids dressed up in Pilgrim and Indian gear, and then sat at tables together eating first Thanksgiving foods. Turkey? No. Potatoes? No. Creamed corn pudding? Of course. Yes, imagine mixing canned creamed corn and a container of corn syrup. Then bake it. yum. Can you imagine the yellowish gloopy result? The smell? They did a poll of the kids to find out what they liked. I burst with pride when Anna was the only kid who didn't absolutely love the corn pudding. She is definitely my child. :)

"I hate White Houses'

On Saturday we drove up to Washington, D.C. Sean was helping at the youth temple trip. He dropped the girls and I off at a Metro station, and we took the train to the Smithsonian National Museum of American History. The girls absolutely loved it. The museum was celebrating the grand reopening, and they had people in period costumes, live music and a colonial band, complete with tri-cornered hats.

Anna and Elizabeth loved the exhibits. They got to see an R2D2 replica that traveled around the museum beeping and turning around. Kermit the Frog and Oscar the Grouch were also big hits, though the glass stairs leading out to the National Mall were a definite obstacle to our progress. Anna, terrified that she was going to fall through the glass, stood at the bottom and sobbed. When I took (grabbed) her hand and pulled her up the stairs, she clung to the rail screaming, "I'm going to die. I'm going to die." There is nothing like a little drama to add fun to the day. They probably have my picture posted at the museum under "really horrible parents who are not allowed to bring their children back." Lovely.

From there we walked over to the Washington Monument, making a pit stop (of course) at the street vendor for some cheap tee-shirts, a hot dog, a big pretzel, and some candy. Then things started to get ugly, or cold. It was about 30 degrees and there was a strong (and freezing) wind. We walked past the Treasury Department and up to the side of the White House. Proudly showing the girls the White House, I told them what it was and who lived there. Elizabeth looked at me and said "I hate white houses." Suffice it to say, we scooted over to the Metro and back to Sean, who was anxiously awaiting our return.

I absolutely adored Washington, D.C. I have learned some important lessons for traveling there again - strollers are a good thing, tour buses are an even better thing, and street vendors are totally cool whether you are 2 or 92. We are anxious to go back - with Sean this time, of course.